542 days, 13,008 hours, 780,480 minutes

You, my friend, require some energy. I call out the specific time that you have been alive because it feels as if we have been running a marathon since day 1 with you and we are no where near the finish line. I will say this, and probably repeat it as time goes – it is a good thing you are really cute.

You had a few more firsts these last six months:

  • First new house
  • First time to San Diego
  • First real words

Your first column is significantly shorter than your sister’s was at this age – thank her someday for being older and allowing you to experience things at a younger age.

We did move though into our new house! Your mom was not as big of a fan of North End as I, and wanted to idyllic childhood home – so we bought it. We moved about 5 miles east to the home we are in now. It has a big driveway, big backyard and is on a cul-de-sac. As much as I wanted to stay put, it really is an incredible home in an incredible neighborhood. We love it, and I hope that I am writing these posts from it for a number of years.

We also took a trip to San Diego – your first time there. We stayed in Encinitas which is where we lived before moving to Boise. We went for 5 days and spent a lot of it at the beach and riding bikes around the neighborhood. We also took you to the San Diego zoo – which blew your mind. Unfortunately I think it will cause you to be disappointed by the one in Boise. Although it was nice being back in SD, and don’t ever tell your mom this, moving to Boise was the right thing for us. 

This was also the trip that convinced us you are not in a state where we wish to travel with you anytime soon. Following the trip back on the planes with a layover in SF, we both agreed we would wait until you were older before we travel again. You were a monster.

Christmas this year you didn’t fully understand but had a better idea at least. Still not ripping open presents or anything – but at least the concept is beginning to resonate. 

You are also starting to talk like crazy, and not all words are gibberish. Many, actually most, still are, but not all. You talk all the time and are becoming more clear each day. You are also the smiliest baby of all time.

That said, you still DO NOT SLEEP! We have tried everything and at this point have resolved to just live on little to no sleep. You just talk to yourself or scream and wake up multiple times throughout the night. Good thing you are cute.


New Job

I left Balihoo at the end of the year and began a new job with a company called Vacasa in January. I came on as the Vice President of Digital, and oversee everything about the website, vacasa.com. The site currently produces just under $100 million per year – and I have a team I am growing. The company is over 2,000 people, and I am one of 9 execs. It is a much bigger role than the one I had at Balihoo – much more stress but also more opportunity. Currently, my plan is to see it through to an exit (either IPO or acquisition) and then take it from there. Would like to take a month off after so hopefully that will happen,


You have a big summer coming up and we will be heading to SV quite a bit. The travel ban due to your behavior on planes has made it harder to get away but we will continue to try. You are so loved, by us of course – but Harper more than anyone. She plays with you constantly, hold you all the time, and helps you with things. She is even protective of you when in public or around other kids. You guys have a pretty amazing bond which is incredible.

I know this one is a little short but I will come back next time around with more details and more stories. 

I love you more than you will ever know.

Love, Dad

1 year old going on 10

The title is meant to reflect the fact that you are advancing at a pace that is uncanny. Your mom would like you to slow down (don’t listen).

A lot has happened in the previous six months, but let’s start with the firsts:

  • Crawling
  • Walking
  • Throwing
  • Laughing
  • First lake visit
  • First new house

We returned from Maui and got back in the groove. The weather had finally turned to spring when we returned so your mom finally stepped back from the ledge.

Things have progressed quickly (as usual) with you. We got back, and since you are some sort of super child, you began crawling at just past 6 months. Like actually crawling. You did the whole scooting thing for a bit which didn’t technically qualify, but then went into full on crawling mode. However, just when we were like “ok, put up some gates and fence this little dude in”, that’s when you started pulling yourself up on things. Feel like you crawled for like 10 minutes and then realized it would get you close to tall, dangerous things and that was really the only incentive to do so. You started pulling yourself on things at 7 months.

There is an awesome picture below of you holding on to one toy and reaching for another to grab on to in order to maintain your balance. This was you for like 2 weeks. You would crawl, pull yourself up, fall down, get back up, reach for the nearest toy, probably fall – but sometimes reach it and move on to do it again over and over. You would meander from toy to toy as if you were paralyzed from the waste down, grabbing at the next thing to keep your balance. And then, just after 8 months, you took for first steps.

Now let me back up a bit and remind you – your sister didn’t walk until 14 months (btw, it is not lost on me that this is fodder for you to make fun of her for a variety of reason, but these stories will likely leak before you read this anyway; plus, when she walked, she was perfect at it – you, not so much).You took your first steps just after 8 months of age and that was that. We were amazed. You just had been dying to move on your own for so long that you finally willed yourself to do it. It was the cutest thing ever to watch, primarily because, well, you were REALLY bad at it.

We had to baby-proof every wall, corner, crevice, stair and anything else that you could possibly hit because you would. You were the equivalent to a small human who had consumed their body weight in alcohol – and this was all. the. time. You would wander around upstairs banging into Layla, walk in between the couch and ottoman and face plant for no reason, you would stand with both hands on a chair and perfectly stable only to have your legs come out from under you. Basically, you were not physically built to walk yet but you refused to let that deter your efforts.

You progressively got better at the whole walking thing, but it took a lot of time and a lot of practice. As I sit her after your first birthday writing this you are basically the equivalent of a frat boy who drank a fifth of vodka – you stay on your feet most of the time, wobbling constantly, and they will have an epic bail every few minutes. But it is a vast improvement.

Honestly, you learning to walk has been the most fun experience I think I have ever witnessed and been part of because you were so determined. More importantly, you were SOOOO HAPPY when you figured it out. You would walk around falling all the time, but you almost never cried. You would bounce right back up and try again. You would smile and laugh and point and just be having the best time ever. I think you were also proud of yourself. It was an incredible thing to live through.

—–

We just bought a new house. You have not been around for it, but this is the third house we have bought in less than 5 years. This is it!

Honestly, you mom found this house and thought it was way out of range (which the price was), but they had it overpriced. She talked about it all the time. She would send it to me every time the price dropped. I suggested we go see it but she never would because of the price and she didn’t want to get her hopes up. Finally, after about 5 months of this I couldn’t take it anymore. I called our real estate agent (who had just sold our last house a year ago) and said we wanted to look at it.

It needed some updating, so secretly was hoping your mom would get inside and change her mind. That totally backfired – she fell deep in love immediately. She then proceeded to get mad at me for showing her it because now she wanted it more than ever (yeahhhh). After that I said we need to figure out a way to buy it.

They were asking $825k, but it was well over-priced. I came in with an offer of $650k, to which they basically told me to go eff myself. But then, surprisingly, they came back and countered. This kicked off a 3 month long negotiation battle, which eventually (I would say) we won. We bought the house for $706k and closed on your birthday.

So we are getting ready to move, yet again. Over the next month they will be replacing the floors and painting all the walls. We will move in next month – and even I am excited now.

Another fun piece of these 6 months was a trip that we did as a family to McCall. We rented a cabin with another couple with kids your age. Anne and Sean are the parents with Finn and Ben being the kids. Neither your mother or I had ever been to McCall, and we had a good time. Was a chill weekend, went to the lake and hung out at the house. Sean is pretty uptight so we didn’t do too much – was still a good time.

We didn’t do too many other trips this 6 months because you absolutely hate the car. Like, really hate the car. We recently bought you a new car seat which seems to be helping a bit but still not great. We don’t think it is as much as the car seat as it is you being restrained – you like your freedom. Either way it makes long drives pretty unbearable so we are trying to avoid them when possible.

—–

I have never met or even heard of a happier child than you. I have been both praised and faulted for being happy all the time. I think people find it naive at times and envy it at others – either way I believe it to be an incredible gift. It takes a lot to stress me out, make me sad, make me worry or bring me down. My dad was the same way (even more-so than me) and I have always lived happy. I see it in you everyday. When you get upset you bounce back. You wake up every morning with this ear to ear smile. You even have fun and smile when mom washes your hair in the bath (most kids hate this).

I hope you remain this way because it is hard to do so as you get older. I hope you keep looking for the bright side and not worry about what “could go wrong”. I hope you still expect good things to happen to you – because they will if you believe they will. I hope when bad things happen you are able to put them behind you and find the positive in the day ahead. I am optimistic you will.

Still hard to believe we are a year in to having you in our lives. It has been a whirlwind – an incredible one. Thanks for being so awesome and fun, and while mom would keep you a baby forever, I cannot express how excited I am to continue to watch you grow.

I love you more than you will ever know,

Love, Dad

 

 

.5 years – so far so good

You are still alive after six months, which is definitely an accomplishment.

It has been an incredible six month with you, and so different than what I expected. You and your sister are COMPLETE opposite babies. You sister was calm, never cried, was late to do everything and could just be put in a swing and left there for hours. You are active, cry far more, are already doing things that your sister was not until she was close to a year and need constant attention and supervision.

I always like to start these posts off with some firsts, and because you are so young you have had many.

  • Thanksgiving
  • Christmas
  • Snow
  • New Year
  • Roll over
  • Trip to Hawaii
  • Beach
  • Plane ride

Bringing you home from the hospital was uneventful (as hoped) and you were greeted by your sister who could not have been more excited. You cried on the way home and we have learned that was not a fluke – you hate the car. We had been working on your room for months so it was all ready to go when you arrived. Of course because you were so little you stayed with us the first few months anyway so we purchased a bassinet that stayed next to our bed. This ended up being the best investment we have made as mom can just spin it around in the night to feed or when you get fussy. Acclimating to two children has been challenging, but honestly it is much easier than I had expected.

The first night went ok – better than expected. You did some sleeping and so did we. We later found out that you were getting your rest to prepare for the second night. You were up almost the entire night, screaming and crying, wouldn’t let us put you down and really no was to console you. We got one hour of sleep that night – and you officially broke us in. We had these dreams about having a sleeping child. Your sister was a terrible sleeper, so we figured we had got that out of the way. Oh wow were we wrong. You made her look like a hibernating bear. Quickly realizing that we again had a non-sleeper, we were at least able to prepare ourselves mentally for what was to come.

We have had an abundance of family coming and going since you arrived, and the first month was jam packed. You were visited by Mia & Michel, Papa & Damian, Boppy, Nonny and Uncle Matt (still working on a nick-name for him). Having family visit during this stage is both a blessing and a curse because while it is helpful to have someone to hand you to when we are doing one of the millions of other things needed to make sure we do in fact keep you alive, it also means having people in our house all the time and our privacy is pretty much gone. Regardless, would much rather have the help than not.

You were born during the worst winter Boise has seen in 50 years. Boise is a desert climate, and while it snows it is dry and normally the snow doesn’t stick around for long. If there is snow on the ground for more than a couple days in a row it is an anomaly. Forget the exact number, but snowed stayed on the ground for something like 70+ days in a row this year. Now this might sound like fun: sledding, hiking, snowball fights, etc. For your sister it was, she loved every minute. But having an infant is a massive challenge in itself, and then adding 4+ feet of snow makes leaving the house or doing pretty much anything impossible. Boise is not equipped for this weather either, so snow plows are in short supply. Our street wasn’t plowed for week, and the alley was blocked off for over a month meaning we couldn’t get our trash picked up. Roads were ice, shoveling was a daily thing and since we had no garage our cars were almost always covered. It wasn’t like it snowed a few times and dumped a bunch of snow and it stuck either – it was snowing almost daily. I had to wear full snow boots  to work just so I could walk from the parking garage to the office a block away. You can see the snow in some of the pictures below.

The good part was that because you were so small, it is not like we were wanting to venture out all that much anyway. However it was pretty tough on your mom because she was pretty much snowed in and not able to get you guys outside too much. We scheduled trips for Palm Springs, San Diego and Tucson for the following winter just to be safe.

Thanksgiving occurred soon after you arrived, so we kept it simple. Still did all the food but on a smaller scale. I’ll be honest, as I sit here and write about this it is kind of a blur.

One highlight of having a winter with so much snow was that it made for a beautiful Christmas. Not much you can do with a 1.5 month old on Christmas, other than dress them in cute clothes and take a bunch of pictures – so that’s what we did. Christmas Eve we actually cooked a ham and had a great meal. Christmas day your mom made homemade cinnamon rolls. Uncle Matt was with us this year and you two had a lot of time together. We opened presents which you could care less about and your sister is still a but too young to understand. I insist on a real tree (you will learn about my obsession for Christmas as you get older) and we just all hung out around it for the first half of the day. That afternoon we went outside and took pictures.

New years eve we got after it – and by got after it I mean we made it to nearly 10:30pm! You made it through your first holiday season.

—–

Your sister was late to everything. She didn’t walk until 14 months, she rolled over late, crawled late, spoke late, etc. However, once she did it she was good at it – when she finally did walk she didn’t fall. You my boy, were wayyyyy early to everything. You rolled over at 3 months, which is pretty insane. You were supporting your head after a couple months. At almost 6 months, you are beginning to crawl. Your mom, who wishes you would stay a baby forever, is in awe and crying at the same time that you are growing up too fast. I am all for it. 🙂

—–

Among many other items that you experienced during the first half year of life, you also went on a two week vacation to Wailea on Maui. Yep, we figured we might as well just begin the spoiling the moment you left the womb. We went with Papa & Damian and all stayed in a condo on the beach together for a week, and then we left them and stayed in our own condo for a week afterwards. This obviously offered you many firsts, but the biggest likely being the ocean and the beach.

We hiked, biked, went on runs, went for walks in the rain, sat on the sand for hours and even celebrated your mom’s 29th birthday. We had a great time – it is hard to beat Maui. However, what you will learn when you have small children is that going on vacation is actually more work than just staying home. Since you weren’t a sleeper, putting you in an unknown and new environment does nothing but make you a worse sleeper. Going to the beach with a wife and two small children makes me into the equivalent of a mule, hauling, just to name a few, things like: chairs, umbrella, towels, sunscreen, hats, suits, diapers, wipes, sunglasses, books, beach toys, shoes, stroller, snacks, waters and a list just as long of things I am forgetting. I mention this not because it wasn’t worth it (it most definitely was) but because when your mom wants to keep you a baby forever…this is one of reason I disagree :).

Oh yeah, one other reason: plane rides. I haven’t talked too much about myself but one thing to mention is that I travel a lot for work. I am VP of Product for a company called Balihoo, we build marketing automation software. Running product I have to travel a lot to San Francisco, Chicago and LA among other places.

This, of course, is not favorable with your mom – but it does provide some perks. For example, you will see that 6 foot first class seat you are riding in below in the pictures. I was able to get us upgraded using points for the 5.5 hour leg to Maui from SF. Sounds awesome, right? It was.

You were actually not as bad, but we never flew with Harper that early so we didn’t know what to expect. You did some crying but not much, for the most part it went pretty well. On the way back – not so much. We flew on a different airline and with Papa & Damian. The plane was packed and you were not a happy boy. As parents we can deal with crying just fine, but it is like a 5.5 hour workout passing you back and forth. Finally, with about an hour before we landed in Portland, you fell asleep. Overall it was a success – but we agreed we will be skipping the Maui trip next year.

—–

I always wanted a boy. I was 100% convinced that Harper was going to be a boy, and when I found out in the ultrasound she wasn’t I did not have a feeling of disappointment, but rather un-preparedness as I had only planned for a boy. Every parent says this and it always sounded like bullshit to me, but not being a parent I know it is true, that I would not have changed anything regarding Harper being a girl and am grateful everyday for her. I am grateful every day for you as well – so much I can’t explain. I have these incredible memories of my dad and I and all the experiences we had together as I was growing up. My dad was my role model. Actually, my dad still is my role model. I love having a girl for millions of reasons I never knew existed, but there is also something special about a father and son relationship that is just hard to explain. Whether you play sports or video games, like girls or boys, are a runner or a dancer, an accountant or a poet, cheer for the Cowboys or the Eagles – whoever you turn out to be I cannot wait to see and be there experiencing everything with you. I will raise you with the same morals with which my dad raised me: work hard, treat everyone fairly, look for the best in people, help people when possible, always open a door for a woman, be caring and always be there for the ones you rely on you or you love. I hope that I can instill those values in you like he did me. I hope that I can keep those values in order to share them with you every day.

Having a child is an unbelievable thing. It changes your life in every aspect and makes you think with at completely different mindset. You see the world differently and it you. I can’t say that I will be a good dad to you, but I promise that being a good dad will the one goal that I will work hardest towards and will never relent. I will mess up along the way, many times, but just know that when I do it was not due to lack of trying or carelessness because those are two things I will never cease to improve upon. My life is so much richer with you in it, my day’s so much happier, my ambition amplified and my love more focused. Just want to say thank you now for being here and being mine – and I can’t wait to live the rest of my life with you in it.

I love you more than you will ever know,

Love, Dad

 

Welcome, Ethan

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Ethan Charles Donegan was born at 7:28 am at St. Luke’s Hospital Downtown Boise, delivered by Dr. Timothy West. 7 lbs 1 oz, 18.75″ long, 14.25″ head.

You are here, you are real, and you are pretty fucking awesome.

So let’s start at the beginning. You were due on the 10th, and just like your mom had been saying all along (that she would be late) the day came and went. November 14th Mia came over from SV as we figured things were getting close and we needed someone to watch Harper. Perhaps it was because your mom knew at that point it was ok because Harper was covered (your mom’s body is incredible, always seems to know when it is ok for things to go crazy), but that night your mom’s contractions started picking up and got close enough to where we decided it was time to head in. This happened around 7pm, just after dinner.

When we got there your mom was four centimeters dilated, and needed to be closer to five before they could admit us. We went through this with Harper as well, and the nurse suggested we go for a walk to move things along. That night we walked through downtown Boise around the hospital. Currently there is not much in that area, other than an old park and a gas station, so we had the sidewalks to ourselves. We just walked and talked, trying our best to prepare for what we knew was ahead…a long few days.

When we returned from our walk an hour later, your mom was more than five dilated and we were admitted to the labor unit. Once established our nurse, Phoebe, came in to greet us and make your mom comfortable. While a bit quirky, Phoebe was incredible throughout the entire night. In fact, her shift ended before you came and she stayed around to help anyway just because she wanted to meet you.

After a few hours we got your mom an epidural, which let both her and I sleep a little bit. It was about 2am at this point so we were both pretty tired. Around 6am we were all up and preparing as your mom was much further along at this point. Dr. West began coming in and checking on progress as well, and let us know it wouldn’t be long.

Finally around 6:30 we had the whole crew in the room and were ready to rock. Your mom was such a champ, if there is any physical strength you end up having it comes from her. I got exhausted just watching her push with so little rest in between. After about an hour you popped your huge head out, then shoulders, and then Dr. West pulled an audible and asked your mom “would you like to pull him out?” I about shit myself. Your mom didn’t even hesitate and reached down for you. Next thing I know she is pulling you out and onto her chest. After I recovered from the scene I has just witnessed, I got my first look at you. And all I could think at that moment, looking at you for the first time, realizing I now had a son and likely my last child…was how you looked like a drowned rat. I mean just covered in everything disgusting. THEN I saw your face and instantly fell in love. 🙂

After all this everything seemed just fine. They cleaned up the room and moved us up to the maternity ward. When we got up there I was holding you and noticed your breathing was quite fast and a bit labored. They has taken your vitals after the delivery and your breathing was fast, but they assumed it was just due to the stress you had endured. But it was still really fast a few hours later and I got concerned, so we asked the nurses to come back in and check it out. They agreed, and brought up some specialists from the NICU. They also agreed, and then took you down to the NICU to run some tests.

Your mom had this connection with you from the second you were on earth (maybe cause she delivered you). She obviously loves Harper and was in love immediately as well, but there was something about the connection you guys had. Just the way she looked at you was different, and when you had to go down she, as always, held it together but I could see the incredible pain in her eyes. When Harper was born she came out not breathing and was immediately sent to the NICU, but she was out 45 minutes later. You were now on your way down and we didn’t know what would happen.

I went down with you and stayed while they began running tests. A normal newborn takes between about 40-60 breaths per minute, and at that time you were well above 100. They eventually diagnosed you with something called transient tachypnea, which is basically rapid breathing caused by fluids in the lungs. It is something that normally works itself out with a day or so, but because of how high your breathing rate was they were concerned it might be more. You would end up spending nearly 2 days in the NICU, until finally your breathing slowed to normal range. It was a frightening two days, but after we were able to head home. Your days in the hospital were over, now it was time to meet your sister.

Due to the circumstances we didn’t want Harper to meet you until you were better. So when we got home that was the first time she got to meet her new baby brother. Have to tell you, she loved you from the moment she saw you. All she wanted to do was hug you, kiss you and help mom with you. She held you for the first time and just smiled the entire time. I have no idea how things will be when you read this, but having worried about introducing a new child to a home where an established one already existed, this was the best case scenario.

So that is it, the story of your birth. Now you are home, happy and healthy.

You might be wondering about how we came up with your name, but it is pretty simple. I love the name Ethan, and always have since I saw Mission Impossible with Tom Cruise where his character was Ethan Hunt. I have also never met an Ethan that I didn’t like and that wasn’t good looking and successful. I am sure you can come up with a more sentimental or interesting story about your name, but I will leave that to you.

Your middle name was also easy, as I believe that middle names she be reserved to honor those in your life that mean the most. The nice thing about Charles is that it has meaning and it used in both my family and your mom’s. Since this is your story told from my side, I will talk about why I wanted that as your middle name.

Charles is my dad’s middle name. My dad is the most supportive, loving, thoughtful, cool person I have ever known. He was the greatest role model any son could ask for, and he always put my sister and I first. I genuinely knew that when he was with us that there was nowhere else he would rather be, it was not just for face time or for show. He came to nearly every single baseball game I ever played in, taught me how to fly fish and camp, was there when I got in trouble, hugged me when I got dumped for the first time, gave me advice when I asked for it, was an extremely hard worker, provided for us and never once judged me. He was firm but sympathetic. He taught me so much but never forced his opinions on me. I am not kidding when I say that without him I would be lost. I don’t know who I will be when you read this, what my job will be, what kind of money I will be making or where I will be living, but I do know that if I am not an incredible father I do not have an excuse in the world. I feel like I have terribly large shoes to fill, and honestly believe that if I can be a fraction as good of a dad to you that he was to me you will turn out just fine. So when you think of your middle name, please know that it was well thought through, and I gave it to you as an homage to a man I hold in the highest of regards.

You are our last child, our family is now complete. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you and what lies ahead for us. I just want to thank you for choosing us, and I promise to do any and every thing to be as good of a parent to you as possible. I will fuck it up along the way, but I will give it everything I can. Please know that.

I love you more than you will ever know.

Love, Dad

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Dude!

That’s right, dude! You obviously know by now, but we just found out a few weeks back. You are going to be our first boy!

Ok first things first, let’s talk about right here and now as I write this. As I write this I am sitting in my office at Balihoo in Boise, ID. I am the VP of Product Management (one of 4 execs in the company), responsible for our software strategy. It is October 7th, 2016, I am typing on a MacBook Air (2013 version I think). In the background the Rangers vs Blue Jays game is on (Jays up 5-1 in the 8th) and I am listening to Coldplay. It feels weird typing this right now because it seems so un-interesting, but when you turn 18 and read this I think it might be different.

Your mom stays at home with your sister, and is very much into Facebook and Instagram (she will kill me if she knew I said this). She is much larger this time around, weighing in at a whopping 167 pounds currently. You are rocking around in her all the time.

Regarding other items in life right now, there is a lot to catch you up on. I am 32 years old, your mom is 29. You also have a 2 year 7 month old sister name Harper (she will be like 21 when you read this). Regardless of what she is like when you read this, right now she is the sweetest, cutest and most docile child alive. She is beautiful, and so much fun. I drive a 2003 Toyota 4runner and your mom rocks a 2013 Mercedes ML350. We have a dog names Layla who is turning 4 on the 29th of this month.

Right now your mom is 8 months pregnant with you, and you are due on November 10th. As I mentioned we found out you are a boy, but we still have not decided on a name. We have to down to a couple (Ethan and Wyatt). I am going to go on record (although this is dangerous) and say that I am pushing hard for Ethan. I love that name.

We are in the process of preparing for your arrival, ordering items on Amazon nearly everyday.

I will keep this one short and get you the long one when you get here. All I can say is that I am excited, more than you know. I cannot wait to do things together as father and son as you grow up, and I hope we have the same relationship that I have with my dad and he had with his. It is weird to say this, but I love you already and cannot imagine not having you in my life. And if you ever doubt my excitement just watch the video below of your sister opening the envelope telling us that you are a boy.

Love you more than you will ever know,

Love, Dad